I took this picture to show off my $2 light bulb lamp that I bought off of a Facebook sale group and spray painted this week. Then, the color scheme in this photo kind of threw me on a way back flash back to my 7th grade bedroom. It was painted blue and red and was covered in B2K posters that I had ripped out of WordUp magazines. I spent so many hours locked up in that room staring at the ceiling and listening to Ashanti Chapter 2 playing on my MTV Karaoke machine. Those moments are so distant now but I can still smell the most pungent aroma of JLO Glow perfume like it was yesterday. As I was reminiscing, I started to think about all the things that being an adult has changed since then. Aside from my upgrade to an i-phone and my choice in music, one thing that I’ve lost along the way is my sense of self.
Back then, there was no Pinterest, no Instagram, no competition for followers and likes. I simply just expressed myself whichever way I wanted to and I had no idea nor care for what was happening in everyone else’s bubble. Nowadays it seems like it’s so difficult to think without over thinking, to create without force feeding myself inspiration, to just make a decision without taking a vote. My constant need for perfection and validation from those around me has drained the beauty of passion right out of me. In fact, that passion for creativity has now become a full on obsession to please. When I first got married, I even started navigating towards farm house decor. It’s as if I was sub-consciously convincing myself of what a wife’s house is supposed to look like. Now, 4 years later, my inner self is begging to be rid of all the expectation and just feel free.
So, moving forward, I’m making a conscious effort to find my creative self and my true style personality starting with this list:
Figure out what feels like “home”
I know I’ve mentioned this somewhere in an older post, but my vision of “home” is influenced a lot by where I grew up. Washington DC is lined with historical buildings, bright murals, and vibrant culture. I love the old mixed with the new, mixed with things that only the artist can explain. That’s what “home” feels like to me.
Let experiences inspire
The internet is great for getting inspiration, but venturing out beyond the internet can help transpire an idea that is truly unique. Inspiration is everywhere from hotel lobby’s to art shows.
Just because I like it, doesn’t mean it’s ME
Just because a particular design is visibly pleasing, doesn’t mean it reflects who I am.
Notice a pattern
Rather than copying a pin that someone else put their personal style into, take a look at a larger group of pins that have accumulated and take note of common similarities such as color, style of artwork, style of furniture etc.
Go with the first choice
The longer I think about whether or not I want something the harder the decision gets. Just go with the first instinct. Creativity is supposed to feel natural.
Don’t ask for advice
EVERY single time I ask for advice, I end up second guessing the decision I made and wondering whether or not I really like it. The best way to find what speaks to me is by not letting anyone else speak on it.
Remember it’s not permanent
Remembering that things can easily be changed encourages bolder decisions.